Bug Phobia
by Kanade Hikari
Summary: Naruto was surprised to learn that Sasuke had a fear of a certain insect. / Oneshot. Crack fic. Random. Sasuke x Naruto


**Warning: Characters may be OOC alert. Sort of like crack. Implications of yaoi sex. **

Naruto and Sasuke were curled up with each other on their bed. They were naked, for they have already undressed themselves hours before. Naruto leaned into Sasuke's embrace, feeling content and basking into the afterglow of their earlier activity.

The two men were oblivious to a cockroach that was sitting at their nightstand.

Sasuke saw the cockroach first. He was stroking Naruto's cheek when he saw it. He froze and then shot up into the air and away from Naruto and the bed.

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Naruto turned to look at what Sasuke was focusing his attention on.

"Oh," Naruto spoke, mild surprise in his voice, "a cockroach."

Sasuke yelped when the cockroach's beady eyes glared at him. It started to crawl away from the nightstand and moved towards Sasuke.

Naruto gaped at his butt-naked boyfriend, who was running around in an attempt to flee the six-legged monstrosity that was following him at brick-neck speed everywhere in the room. He would have appreciated the view and ogled at Sasuke's very naked, well-toned body if it was any other occasion, but he just found out one of Sasuke's darkest and deepest secrets.

Who knew that the stuck-up prissy bastard that was Sasuke Uchiha was actually afraid of bugs?

Naruto resisted the loud snicker that was about to dislodge from his throat.

He could fight criminals, obsessed fangirls, and ninjas that were twice his size without a sweat, but he couldn't handle a cockroach?

Naruto continued to watch the cockroach torture Sasuke in their chase of cat and mouse. Ironically, Sasuke was the mouse and the cockroach was the cat.

Then again, it was a cockroach, and Naruto had to admit that even though he didn't fear it, the insect was still rather creepy. Considering that Sasuke saved Naruto's life countless times before in their missions together, this might be the perfect time to return the favor.

Naruto scratched his head and rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes. The he promptly rolled off the bed and landed gracefully onto the carpet floor below. His hand reached down to grab one of his slippers and he stood up, taking a stance similar to those poses that actors use in those cheesy martial artist movies he was forced to watch when he visited Lee's house. He jumped over to where Sasuke was.

It turns out that the cockroach had a few tricks up its sleeves. Now it was _flying_ towards them.

Shit!

Naruto was shocked at its ability to take flight. He didn't see that coming.

Sasuke's eyes were popping out of his sockets and his mouth was open to let out a silent scream.

Naruto could have snorted. Even in times of absolute fright, the stubborn bastard still desperately tried to keep his dignity and not screech out like a helpless deer in the spotlight. Naruto kept a bored look on his face as he used the slipper to slap the cockroach away from them and out the window that was conveniently left open.

Sasuke gaze flickered to him, his eyes expressing to Naruto that he was grateful for his intervention.

Naruto smirked. "Your welcome, bastard. Who would have thought that you're afraid of bugs?"

Sasuke gave him the death glare. "Tell anyone else and I'll make sure you'll regret it."

Naruto raised both of his hands in surrender. "Sheesh, I won't. Calm down will you? It's not that big of deal. You didn't even make a sound when he ran away from it. If you did, I would be telling everyone in Konoha that you screamed like a little girl because of a tiny, harmless cockroach."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in response. "It _is_ a big deal, and that cockroach was _gigantic_. Do you know how many germs that cockroaches have on their bodies? If it touched me…" Sasuke trailed off and shivered at the mere thought of it.

Naruto rolled his eyes and turned to look at their bed. Before all the mayhem with the cockroach, he was happily cuddling under the bedcovers with Sasuke.

"Damn it." Naruto sighed. "That cockroach ruined the afterglow."

Then a lightbulb lighted up in Naruto's brain. He and Sasuke were still naked. He turned back to face Sasuke again.

"Sasuke." Naruto gave him his most seductive smile. "Want another round?"

To Naruto's dismay, Sasuke shook his head. "The mood was ruined."

Fuck.

Naruto's happy expression soured.

He hated cockroaches now. Turns out they were cockblockers in disguise.

**A/N: Just a little oneshot I wrote. Lol, don't know why I wrote this. Not supposed to make sense, but it sort of does at the same time.**


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